They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
