It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
