I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas