the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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Use "feeling words"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.