i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I love you. Go after that dick
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
