Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize