did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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