I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
