I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
