My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
