he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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