I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
