i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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