I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize