there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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