Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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