I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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