you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"