Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
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you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster