i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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