I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.