i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over