Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
