time to smoke my breakfast
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
