so that wasnt chicken after all
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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