we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
