Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
