it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
