I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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