I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
