he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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