This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart