You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..