i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.