Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???