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Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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