my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
