so that wasnt chicken after all
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
