so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
