shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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