Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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