what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
