Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
