Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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