fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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