ugly people sure do ruin things
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
