If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
