Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
