she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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