you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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