You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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