omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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