Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
