4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
