oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
