Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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