I can text with my tongue
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
