if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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