Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
