Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
