Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
