OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
