it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
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i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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