After last night, I could never be a politician.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
