I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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